Four Unique Personalities

Having four children of my own, I'm often amazed at how different each of my children are. After I had my first child I really believed that most of his personality was being shaped by "nurture", and how my husband and I were parenting him. That theory was completely blown out of the water after having our second child. She was so completely different from the very beginning. By the time our third and fourth child was born, I was beginning to see how much of their personalities mimicked all of the stereotypes of the oldest child, the middle child, and the baby of the family.

I'm enjoying seeing how each of my children's personalities develop, and how that is influenced by many different factors. I find it fascinating how their birth order plays a role in their personalities. I read a very intereresting book about birth order, The Birth Order Book by Dr. Kevin Leman. This is a great read for anyone, and especially those with children. Dr. Leman even examines the different career paths based on birth order. Dr. Leman even pokes fun at himself for being a "the typical baby of the family". This book is a must read, and it makes a great discussion book for bookclubs and mom's groups. I would love to hear thoughts from others who have read this book.

Embracing Those Precious Moments With Our Children

Do you stop to smell the roses? Do you take time each day to really be in the moment? Or are you just caught up in the survival mode of life and parenthood? As the saying goes, “the days are long, but the years are short”. Enjoy the everyday moments with your children because they will soon be all grown up. We can become so caught up in the hum drum of life that our children become “familiar”.

Max Lucado discusses “familiar falsehoods in his book, “God Came Near”. The book says that familiarity, “won’t take your children, he’ll just make you too busy to notice them. His whispers to procrastinate are seductive. There is always next summer to coach the team, next month to go to the lake, and next week to teach Johnny how to pray. He’ll make you forget that the faces around your table will soon be at tables of their own. Hence, books will go unread, games will go unplayed, hearts will go unnurtured, and opportunities will go ignored. All because the poison of the ordinary has deadened your senses to the magic of the moment”.

I’m trying to learn balance and how to make sure that I don’t get caught up in the to-do lists of life. I want everyday to be filled with magical moments, even if they are just small moments. I love the smell of my daughter’s hair, the crooked smile of my oldest child, the goofiness of my baby’s personality, and the intense curiosity of my “Cooper”. I want every day to cherish; the smells, the smiles, the laughter, the curiosity, and the goofiness of my children. I don’t want to miss out on the moment because my to-do list is constantly running through my mind.

I want to share something else I have read that gave me a better perspective of how I want my moments with my children to be. I hope it gives all my readers a new perspective as well. It is a poem from Sally Meyer (1999). Please visit the link to read the poem. It is worth the few minutes it will take for you to read it, and you will be glad you did.

http://www.cathye.com/momjustfortoday.htm

This poem by Sally Meyer just gives me a whole new perspective. Sometimes all we need in life is just a new perspective.

Direction and Balance

I haven’t posted anything for over five months. This is a reflection of my life and personality. I’m a perfectionist, not that my life reflects perfection but I just strive so hard for it. I guess I’m what you would call a “discouraged perfectionist”. I’m all or nothing. If I can’t do something perfect then I tend to not do it at all. I’m a procrastinator by nature, but this personality trait drives me insane. So the reason I haven’t posted in five months is because I have this vision of this amazing life changing blog that everyone will want to read. I’ve set the standard so high for myself that if I can’t make each post amazing then I just don’t post at all. I forget about all the baby steps, and the fact that you have to start somewhere.

So here it is; the beginning of my blog. This will be a very candid blog about my life as a child of God, a wife, a mother, a daughter, and a friend. I struggle with the same things that all women struggle with. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person in the world that feels the way I feel, and then I realize that I’m abnormally normal. I struggle with the want for instant gratification and to not be so all or nothing. I play so many roles in life that sometimes I feel like I’m having a hard time being good at any of them. Just as the old saying goes, “I’m the jack of all trades but the master of none”. I’m just at a stage in life where I’m trying to figure out how to have more balance in my life.

I have so many amazing ideas for this blog, but I’m not sure what direction to go towards. I have so many things that I want to share about; God, nutrition, motivation, raising kids, organization, inspiration, gift giving, recycling, living more simply, and the list just goes on and on. I have some projects that I want to start and document from start to finish because they are things we all struggle with. It’s just nice to not feel that we are charting new water all alone.

So to all my readers: Please bear with me as I find the direction for this blog, but whatever direction I take I promise you will never be bored. Suggestions are always welcome. Come back and visit soon and leave transformed. That is my hope for me, and everyone who reads this.
~Toni

Great Gifts for Children

I wanted to share some of my favorite gift ideas with my readers

Trunk or Chest

Buy a trunk or chest and fill it with dress up clothes. There are many different types of trunks or chests that you could purchase. I'm including a picture of a chest that I absolutely adore but might be a little pricey for most parents. You could simply use and old toy chest. You could get a wooden chest and finish it however you want, you could even paint your child's name on the chest or trunk. I think this is such a great idea because a trunk or chest can be versatile as your child grows up. For little girls you can fill the trunk with inexpensive costume jewelry that you no longer need, or you can buy some at the Goodwill or a dollar store. You can purchase princess dresses for the trunk, if you wait until after halloween you can find inexpensive dresses and costumes to add to the trunk. Boys enjoy dressing up too. So you can do the same for a boy and fill it with army costumes, halloween costumes, play water guns, hats, pirate stuff, sports equipment and more.
I found this trunk at http://www.poshtots.com/ it is the "Little Princess Bench" and it sells for $1667.00. This site has some incredible children's furniture.


Arts and Craft Bin

If your child loves to draw, color, paint, build, and make crafts then you can buy a clear plastic tote and fill it full of art and craft supplies. I suggest getting the ones that have a latchable lid with a handle to make it easier for a child to carry around. During July and August when all the school supplies are on mega sale I stock up on crayons, pencils,markers, paper, and glue. I often find crayola 24 pack crayons on sale for 9 cents and I buy a year's worth. I often add a coloring book and a pack of crayons to children's gifts. This is also a great time to stock up on stuff to put in the craft bin. Dollar stores are also a great place to find inexpensive craft supplies such as pom poms, wooden sticks, stickers, and glitter to add to a craft bin. Kid's love getting art and craft supplies and putting them in a tote is a great way to package them as a present and parents love that the supplies are organized into one spot. You can also include instructions on how to make crafts or a small craft book. The Internet is full of free printables and craft ideas that you could pre-print and include in the art bin.

Pajama's for Christmas Eve

One of the biggest arguments that my husband and I ever had was arguing about whether our kids would open their Christmas presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas day. The funny thing about this argument is that we had only been dating about two months when we had the argument, we weren't even married yet and we didn't have any children yet. I grew up opening all of my presents on Christmas Eve and saving one for Christmas day and my husband grew up opening all of his presents on Christmas day. Well my husband eventually won that argument because our kids do open presents on Christmas day. But they get to open one on Christmas Eve and it's always new pajamas. Opening a gift on Christmas eve helps settle some of the excitement leading up to the big day. My kids always open presents first thing Christmas morning so I always have pictures with my kids in their brand new pajamas. It's a nice tradition and my kids look forward to it.

Homemade Gifts

Never underestimate the brilliance of homemade gifts. We live in such a disposable society of consumption that we often forget about making things from scratch. Or even better, using materials that you already have laying around your house to make great gifts. My Mother has been making barbie doll dresses for my five year old. She has taken fabric from old dresses and made beautiful barbie doll dresses.
I have been saving uniforms and t-shirts from all of the sports teams that my son has played on and I plan to sew those shirts into either a quilt that I can add on to as he gets older, or even some cute throw pillows for his bed. My Mom once took a bunch of old pairs of jeans and made a quilt out of them that became our picnic quilt.
Another inexpensive homemade gift that I plan to do this year is making prayer handkerchiefs. I will include photos and instructions after I complete one. I plan to buy some inexpensive muslin fabric, and add lace and embroider initials. I have been learning a lot about the healing power of God and prayer. I have heard some amazing testimony's about prayer handkerchiefs and I wanted each of my children to have a prayer handkerchief that they could place in their bibles and pull out when they wanted or needed them. If sewing or making your own handkerchiefs is not really ideal for you then you could always buy handkerchiefs from the store and have them mongrammed. I found some beautiful handkerchiefs at http://www.thelaceshop.com

This picture is from http://www.thelaceshop.com/

Christmas Ideas

I can't believe that it's already December. Where did the year go? It is so easy to go through life on auto-pilot and go from one season to the next without even realizing it. I'm trying to change my focus during this Christmas season and remember the reason for the season. It is so easy to get caught up in holiday baking, Christmas shopping, parties, and commitments that we often forget to slow down and enjoy it. I want to teach my kids that Christmas is a celebration of Jesus' birthday and not just about Santa Claus and presents. Instead of focusing on what I can't buy for loved ones this year I want to focus on the great things I do have. I may not be able to offer a fancy gift this year, but I can offer my heart and reach out to the people I love. Don't get me wrong I love to shop and I love to buy presents for my family, but I just want to shift my focus to the things that don't come from a store. And I'm encouraging other's that I know to shift their focus as well.
Slow down this season and really enjoy it because it will soon be gone. Bake and decorate Christmas cookies with your children, and then deliver them to loved ones or even to the elderly in a nursing home. Start new traditions and honor old ones. Read your children the story of Jesus' birth from the bible. Help your children find ways to give this holiday. Have your children make coupons to do chores, and have them make room for new toys by getting rid of some of the old. Take a walk and look at Christmas lights and then come home and drink hot chocolate and make smores in the fireplace.
Do you remember most of the presents you received as a child? Most people don't remember what they received for Christmas, but most of us do remember the holiday traditions. I encourage every parent to really think about the purchases they make for their children this year. Ask yourself if the presents reflect the values that you want to instill in your children? Ask yourself if the presents really increase the quality of your children's lives? Ask yourself when is enough stuff, enough? Will this toy just end up at the bottom of a toy box? Step outside of the box this Christmas and find presents that will really leave a lasting impression upon your child. Buy tickets to the movies, buy tickets for a concert or play. Try to buy experiences instead of just stuff.
The best thing you can give your children this Christmas season is your love and attention. Kid's would rather have more fun times making Christmas cookies and getting less for Christmas then having tons of new toys from a stressed out and over worked parent.
I will be posting Christmas gift ideas soon, so please check back

Hard Times

Thanksgiving is a time to remember what we are thankful for. Every year my family takes turns on Thanksgiving Day to tell what we are thankful for. Well this year I’m thankful for the hard times because the hard times make the good times so much better. Some of my fondest memories as a child were the ones when my parents were probably struggling financially. It didn’t matter how much stuff we had, as long as we were together. One year my parents, my uncle, my uncle’s wife, and I piled into an old 1960’s Chevy pickup truck and drove an hour and half to my Grandparent’s house. It started snowing heavily on the trip there, and for some reason my Dad pulled the truck over on the side of the interstate, and we all had a big snow ball fight. That memory has lasted far longer than any present that I got that year for Christmas.

Even as an adult some of my fondest memories are the ones that have been free. Some of the happiest times in my marriage have been the times that my husband and I have been struggling financially. I believe there are many reasons that those times seem to be the best. I think that when you are struggling you appreciate the little things so much more, you are connected more with your family members, and you are more creative for your entertainment.

I think that if we stop to think about the positive outcomes of the current recession it would be that it served to teach us something. I think that it is so easy to become a slave to our possessions. I believe that we have lived in a society that for so long has wanted to keep up with the Joneses. Well now the Joneses are broke too! It is time to find different role models, and get back to simpler times. It is time to ask ourselves what we really value. I can tell you from my own experience that I would rather my Dad have worked less hours and spent more time with me than to have nice new toys and clothes. We work so hard to provide for our children, to give them the newest stuff, to make sure they have every advantage, but if we fail to really be present in their lives then we have done them a far greater injustice. We can be in the same room with our children and yet still not be present with them, and children know the difference.

So this year, I’m thankful for the times of struggle because they have served to teach me some very valuable lessons. I’m thankful for my car that does not run very well because at least I have a car, I’m thankful for my husband who is messy because I have a wonderful man who loves me, I’m thankful that my kids drive me crazy sometimes because it means that I have kids, I’m thankful for waking up early because it means that I have a reason to get out of bed, I’m thankful for getting stuck in traffic because it may have saved my life, I’m thankful for hateful people because at least I don’t have to be that way, I’m thankful for my aches and pains because it means I’m alive, and I’m even thankful that I’m an over worked and under paid; cook, maid, referee, and chauffer because it means that I’m a Mom and a wife. It means that my paychecks come in the form of hugs and kisses from my kids, and being proud of my kid’s successes because I helped them to become successful. My reward is knowing that I’m helping to shape and mold these beautiful gifts from God.

Ruby Red Slippers

My daughter "Ashlynn Kennedy" in her ruby red slippers




Sometimes it’s easy to think that we will be happy when _____ happens, or that we will do something extraordinary with our lives when______. If we just had a Jeannie with three wishes, a magic wand, a fairy God mother, or some ruby red slippers. Usually we have the power within us to make our dreams come true, but often we fail to realize it. Just like the scene in the Wizard of Oz when the good witch tells Dorothy that she had the power all along to get back to Kansas, but she just would not have believed it until she learned it for herself. You see, we all have ruby red slippers, we just don’t all realize it.
Just like Dorothy we don’t realize that our heart’s desire sometimes is in our own backyards. I don’t know about you but there’s not a lot in my backyard, but it’s a great metaphor for the fact that we already possess everything we need in order to be happy and content.
Don’t keep waiting for tomorrow because tomorrow may never come. We only really have this moment. The yellow brick road is in front of you and you are already wearing your ruby red slippers.
My children are supposed to learn from me but I believe they have taught me more than I have taught them. They have taught me to; be more child like, to wish upon stars, to walk barefoot, to believe in magic, to slow down. Simply they have taught me to just be. Just be in the moment. They have taught me to dream bigger and be more than I was yesterday. They have taught me that I have always had the power of the ruby red slippers.
“Most limitations are only limitations of the mind.” If you think you can, then you can. If you think you can’t, then you can’t. You limit yourself because you have limited thinking. If you want big then you have to think big. So put on your ruby red slippers and know that you have always had the power….

My New Blog

Ella Reagan - Age 1Jackson Cooper - Age 3
Ashlynn Kennedy - Age 5
John Carter - Age 8
My Four Blue-Eyed Kids
Our Summer Picnic

I am so excited to begin my new blog. I have so many things I would like to share with other moms and I would love to hear back from you. Please let me know topics you would like to hear about. Although I am a busy mom of four active kids and our life is very hectic at times, somehow I always manage to include small tidbits of beauty, fashion and humor in our lives. Sometimes it is making sure that my girls have the properly matched accessories for their outfits and sometimes it is the love-notes that I include in their lunchboxes. I am always open to controversial topics such as children's vaccines, nutrition, discipline, etc. You can expect to read about all the latest hot topics concerning our children's lives and sometimes you can expect to just be entertained. I promise you will never be bored!
Toni